Relationships with Staff
Now Playing: Judith Orloff, M.D.
Topic: Boundaries
I took this from the web some time ago, and pass it on to you as a very valuable outline for transformation in your workplace. It's originally by Dr. Judith Orloff.

Ten Extraordinary Prescriptions for Transforming Fatigue, Stress, and Fear Into Vibrance, Strength, and Love

"Our relationships at work are governed by a give and take of energy. Some coworkers make us more electric or at ease. Yet others suck the life right out of us. As a physician and energy specialist I want to verify that energy vampires roam the workplace sapping our exuberance. But most of us don’t know how to cope with vampires, so we mope around as unwitting casualties, enduring a preventable fatigue.

Here are some types of energy vampires to watch for at work and ways to deal with them.

Vampire #1: The Sob Sister

She’s the whining coworker with the “poor me” attitude who’s more interested in complaining than solutions.

How to Protect Yourself: Set clear boundaries. Limit the time you spend talking about her complaints. Sensitively say, “I’m sorry I can only talk for a few minutes today.” And go on with your work.

Vampire #2: The Drama Queen

This vampire has a flair for exaggerating small incidents into off-the-chart dramas which exhaust you.

How to Protect Yourself: A drama queen doesn’t get mileage out of equanimity. Stay calm. Take a few deep breaths. This will help you not get caught up in the histrionics.

Vampire #3:The Constant Talker or Joke Teller

A chronic motor mouth, he has no interest in your feelings; he’s only concerned with himself. You wait for an opening to get a word in edgewise but it never comes.

How to Protect Yourself: These people don’t respond to nonverbal cues. You must speak up and interrupt. Politely say, “I’m a quiet person, so please excuse me for not talking a long time.”—more constructive than expressing frustration.

Vampire #4. The Fixer Upper

She turns you into her therapist, desperate for you to fix her endless problems. At lunch, she’ll make a beeline to your desk, monopolizing your free time. Her neediness lures you in.

How to Protect Your Energy: Do not become the “rescuer.” Show empathy but resist offering solutions to avoid reinforcing this behavior.

Vampire #5: The Blamer

This vampire has a sneaky way of making you feel guilty or lacking for not getting things just right. She always has a negative comment to make.

How to Protect Yourself: Try this visualization. Around this person imagine yourself surrounded by a cocoon of white light, a protective covering. Tell yourself that you are safe and secure so you can’t be depleted.

Vampire #6: Go for the Jugular Fiend

This type is intentionally vindictive and/or verbally abusive. It’s hard to get these hurtful jabs out of your head.

How To Protect Yourself: Eliminate them from your life whenever possible. If this is your boss, try a visualization that puts you at a distance from him. If you can’t switch jobs, realize he’s a wounded person; don’t take his meanness personally.

Judith Orloff, MD, is a psychiatrist, energy specialist and practicing intuitive. This article comes from her new book Positive Energy: Ten Extraordinary Prescriptions for Transforming Fatigue, Stress, and Fear Into Vibrance, Strength, and Love. She is also author of the two bestsellers: Guide to Intuitive Healing and Second Sight. Judith is Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at UCLA, has a private practice in Los Angeles."

If you'd like to discuss coaching around issues like these please call me at 508-775-2059, 10-4 EDT. Ann Condon